rant post.

public class 08032010{

public void break(blogger){

so, break was soooooooooo incredibly boring. All i did was goto the place of the pie everyday (sunday-thursday) and just chill out there. I watched Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood (46 episodes). And then caught up with Dragon Ball Kai (2 episodes). And then i decided to do all of my math hw, and then more....and more...and more...I am so far ahead of my math class, it's not even funny. :\ But i'm really glad that the break is now over, i practically went insane out of boredom on saturday. you can only do so much hw and thinking about other stuffs for so long... :(

}

public void randomThoughts(blogger){

so, i've been really thinking. There's a lot of crap in the world, and it really does affect us, either because we have these problems or we know someone who is has it. so i'm gonna just gonna let my hands type because really, i want to know some of this stuffs.

• Fetishes. lol. i know....sorry. What the hell? seriously, why do we have them? why does a certain item/action gives us more of a response??? I think i probably have one of the weirdest ones ever. I don't know anyone who will share mine, and i probably wont' find anyone who will. but still, why do we have them? what caused them to form? I don't recall anything in my childhood that really relates to that kind of feeling. maybe curiosity or it caught my interest, but never in a sexual way. how did something so simple turn into that???
• Orientation. Why does it really matter? Why are some gay/bi when others are straight? I mean, there's nothing wrong with being gay, bi, straight, or a transvestite. It shouldn't matter. I'm bi (i think), and i wasn't surrounded by gays, in fact, i didn't know anyone until last october! I didn't watch anything gay or anything. but yet, somehow, i find (A VERY SELECT FEW) guys attractive. i really don't get it. i keep on hearing nature vs nurture. It doesn't apply to me, i don't think, because no one or thing was gay around me. I'm not saying i'm mad or sad or upset about being bi, i just wanna know how i got here.
• looks. (yeah i'm sorry about being so focused on sexual stuff, i really don't focus on this shit, but with a week OF NOTHING TO DO, it kinda infected my thoughts). Again, why does this matter? Shouldn't we judge people by their actions, personality, and how they treat themselves/others rather than just by looks??? i mean seriously, how did our stupid society got this infected with lust??? I mean, yeah, i will admit fault here. but why do we do so? Can't we focus on the person within??? what changed us from doing that to the only the physical person? Girls with breasts, asses, revealing or tight clothes, heels,etc; guys with muscles, a big dick, money, being a jock, etc. why do we focus on those stupid things?? I mean seriously?? We even do it to the color of the skin as well. i really don't get how we devolved ourselves to these primal instincts.
• sex. yeah yeah. ok. sure, sex is a good thing to have, why not? really? but god damn. I don't need or want to see it every god damn place. Seriously. It should just stay in the house and nothing more. I don't want to see it on the simpsons. it's really disgusting. or in games even. I know i sound like a broken record, but how did it all come down to this> why does our society focus on sex? sure, i'd like to have sex, i admit it, but my life isn't revolved around the damn action. To be honest, i see having sex is like the peak of a relationship, like, you guys have made it, you love each other so much that you are ready for whatever comes at you, TOGETHER. it should be a somewhat holy (that's a bit too strong of a word, but idk what fits in there) action, at least the first time should be. I mean, if you're still with your partner, whether it be a man or a woman, then sure, it doesn't have to be that important everytime, but it's nice to have some special meaning to it. idk if i contradicted myself, but in my head it all makes sense.
• people. There seems to be 2 basic broad types of people. people who don't really talk to people, stay within their bubble (of friends, group, or personal) and then there's the people who are extremely outgoing, able to befriend (sometimes more) people all the time with no problems. I really think is the most complexing, we all know people that fall within both groups, and even family members, i believe. Idk, i think it's more nature than nurture, i knew a lot more outgoing people than i do with people who are just in the corner (like me) so idk, why is it that i fear meeting new people? I fear judgement from people i don't even know. why is that? Even though, i'm surrounded by people who other people just die for. They do it, they're the masters, they do it very successfully. But when I try, i fail miserably. maybe there's something missing that i'm not doing/portraying. idk what it is, i just wish i knew what it was. It'd be nice to get more than 3 friends at college. lol.
• cheating. this is what I DON'T GET. not one bit. Yeah sure, i can understand people liking more than 1 person. that's fine, it's human. Most people understand that, and they go into relationships, and know all the things they're sacrificing to be into that relationship. And even I admit, I do like some other people, but i don't focus on them, that'd be wrong. But, I think, those people are good to have close, because, those are the people you can trust the most, and most likely help you with any of your problems, as you would help them with theirs. They're obviously gonna be good people, you can't just leave them, because you can't have them, that's selfish and douche like. I trust those people, and some of them, I even told them, and they were very understanding and supportive and helpful. I appreciate that from them and it means a lot that they don't think any less of me because of this, they really are great people. But even after all of that, i'm very content with who i am with, and wouldn't change it for anything in the world. ANYWAY, back to my point, there are some people, who cheat on their partner. Which I don't understand, if you feel that you have to cheat, break up with the person, don't go into a deep hole that you dug yourself in with (sometimes more than) 2 people. Break up with partner and go with whoever you want to cheat with, and then it's no longer cheating. I know this probably sounds harsh, but if you even consider to cheat, you really don't love your partner. Don't drag it out and cause more harm to each other, just stop things, or take extra time out to work things out. Idk, i just don't get it

Yeah...i'm sorry for just ranting like that, i guess most of it is just me being naive. I really don't know the answers to any of those questions. I HAD ALOT OF TIME on my hands last week, and i had alot of thoughts RACING through my head. That just really scratched the service. I'd type more, but i've typed alot today, and wasted class time and then some. and also, it probably seems like i'm a sex freak or something, thinking about all those things. Not really. it's just in this group of topic. I'm sorry if i sound like one, i'm really not. And now i'm tired... so next time. LOL what a way to greet blogger. lol

}

}